This is when you get stronger

A little mantra to motivate yourself through discomfort

Back in January, I had an unfortunate back pain/nerve pain incident that left me bed bound for a week. I slowly started walking again, but I didn’t run for two months. This spring I’ve been trying to get back some of my running fitness.

It is a long process for sure. It is sometimes frustrating. I don’t want to trigger intense pain. But on the other hand, I do need to push myself a little — sometimes through some discomfort.

When I’d embarked on a long and beautiful run around Central Park recently — and I started feeling tired and a bit sore while still a distance from my hotel — I reminded myself on the last mile that “this is when you get stronger.” In general, it’s the moments when we’re struggling when strength and stamina are increasing. After all, if I only ask my body to do what I absolutely know it can do then nothing will change. When I go a little farther and a little faster than I’m comfortable going, then I build endurance and speed.

So it goes for many things. Getting stronger involves lifting weights that are a little heavier or adding another few reps. Those last few reps are not going to be pleasant. But this is when you get stronger.

This idea is relevant for contexts beyond exercise too.

Let’s say you are dating again after a long relationship has ended. Getting through the moments when you’re feeling fearful or awkward unlocks the opportunity to deepen new relationships. This is when you get stronger.

Or maybe you hate public speaking but your new job requires it. Indeed, your new job has you giving talks twice a week. Every time you speak in front of a crowd, and go through your material, and try out new material, and pivot on stage when things inevitably don’t go as planned, you build skills and confidence. You are turning something that might be frightening into something you do on Tuesdays. And Thursdays. You are getting stronger.

If you’re learning a new language and you muster the courage to use your new skills to talk with a native speaker, your language skills are getting stronger.

It might even be helpful to use this phrase: This is when you get stronger. It’s satisfying to grow, even if it’s tough in the moment.

Now of course, there are limits to this. Getting injured is not going to result in getting stronger. I’ve been doing runs in the 5-6 mile range these days, with the hope of getting a little closer to double digits over the next few months. I am no where near ready for double digits now.

But in any case, in that 5th mile, I could picture myself on the other side of it, sipping my coffee in my hotel room — knowing that despite my back condition, I am still the kind of person who can run up to the reservoir and around it. That last bit wasn’t fun, but this is when you get stronger. Eventually I’ll be running longer distances, reminiscing about when I thought this was tough.

What are you doing these days to push yourself a little past your comfort zone?