Stop wishing time away

Choose one moment, today, to exercise agency

People will tell you time is precious. It’s the most valuable resource we have!

And yet, if you look at how many of us spend our time, there are often large chunks when we are hoping the time will move faster (say, during that boring 10 a.m. staff meeting) or when we are basically killing time. When I was waiting for my food at the lunch counter the other day, I did what I think a lot of us do and pulled out my phone and started looking at some scolding social media post the algorithm dished up. This did not put me in a better mood.

It all makes sense in the moment why we do these things or feel this way, and yet it seems a shame to spend time on earth wishing ourselves closer to the end of it — or on things that we wouldn’t actively choose.

Perhaps not all time can be spent well. I still haven’t figured out how to enjoy long flights. But if even a little time can be spent more enjoyably, that can make for a big boost in life satisfaction.

Shifting how we feel

I explore various strategies to stop wishing time away in my new book, Big Time, which is on sale tomorrow. (You can pick up a copy at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Books-a-Million, Hudson, or through your own local independent bookstore or library.) I hope you’ll consider checking that out! But in the meantime, one thing you can do to stop wishing time away is to get in the regular practice of analyzing your time and figuring out when you are most likely to be unhappy about it. Then challenge yourself to do one small thing to move time out of the category where you are wishing it away or killing it, and into the neutral-to-slightly-positive zone.

For instance, those moments spent on aimless scrolling are often about trying to connect with the universe in some way. But that scolding influencer doesn’t care about me. How much better to reach out to people who do? Time spent waiting can be spent texting friends and family members or, if it’s not a good time to do that, perhaps looking at old photos of memories with those people.

Immediate or structural change

That boring staff meeting might be made better by meeting up with your favorite colleague before and after to chat about your weekend and make plans to grab coffee. Or you might improve it structurally by offering to draft an agenda for your boss. And hey, your friendly colleague just offered to serve as a time keeper to make sure everyone is on track. This just might be the week this monstrosity is done on time.

I’m not sure what would keep you from wishing time away, but there is often something that is possible. The key is recognizing that we do generally have some agency over our schedules. Maybe not complete control, but there is a big difference between some and none. When you find yourself wishing time away, or killing time in a way that isn’t enjoyable, pause and ask what you can do to take those minutes back. Little by little this is how we go from tolerating our schedules to truly loving what fills our hours.