Say yes when you can

If it's not a terrible idea, why not let people experiment?

One way to figure out when a start-up has become a full-fledged Big Corporation is when the default answer to new things becomes “no.”

People worry about how things will be perceived, or about setting a precedent. Before Covid, for example, a great many requests to work from home were automatically turned down because, well, what if everyone wanted to work from home?

We now know that this would most likely be fine. In many organizations, people worked from home for over a year and things kept chugging along.

While “no” is an easy default, I think it pays to realize that “yes” is an option too. Indeed, saying yes when you can changes the environment. People see that their ideas are encouraged so they bring you more ideas. That is a good thing! Not everything will work out, but many things will be fine, and some might be big wins. So if something isn’t terribly expensive, or risky legally, there might not be harm in giving it a whirl.

Yes at home

I’ve been thinking about this lately with parenting. As parents we wind up saying “no” all the time. No, you can’t climb on the roof, or go back upstairs to change pants again because we’re late, or stay up until midnight on a school night. In many cases, these “no” answers are appropriate, because part of parenting is setting boundaries.

But part of parenting is also creating the space for kids to explore life and become their own people. So if no one’s likely to get hurt, and it’s not going to bust the bank, why not try flipping the automatic “no” script?

So, say yes when you can. To the bizarre outfit a child puts together. To the weird combination of foods in the lunch bag. To the request to try archery or axe-throwing. To the suggestion to try building a catapult to launch pine cones into a hollow stump, or painting the closet yellow. To putting three bath bombs in the tub to see how the colors combine. If there’s no real reason to say no, other than that it hasn’t happened before or wasn’t exactly what you were picturing, you could just say yes.

Saving ‘no’ for when it matters

In particular with teenagers, I subscribe to the philosophy of picking your battles. So I’ve been trying to say yes to anything that’s not an absolutely terrible idea. A kid wants a certain snack food? We’ll get it at the store. Someone wants to try an activity? We’ll figure out the driving. New bedspread to reflect a current obsession? Another trip to Starbucks? I’ve wasted money on worse things before.

The goal is generating goodwill, so that when I do need to say no, there’s more of an assumption that I have a reason — as opposed to just generally being a downer about everything.

At work, too, if someone who reports to you has an idea, it might be wise to at least entertain it. If a hardworking employee wants to work a different schedule, see if you can make it work. If a few folks want to form an employee volunteering group, give them the runway to start it. If someone wants to test a product in a different market, that’s the kind of initiative that it’s generally wise to reward. In your experience you might be pretty sure it won’t work, but so what? You might be surprised with what people come up with, and when “no” is saved for places where it really matters, you’ll wind up with a more innovative culture — and people will likely be happier too.