One exclamation point is enough

Be a little enthusiastic, but not over the top

How do you show emotion in written text? How do you make sure the recipient interprets your emotions correctly?

These are important questions. Many of us do the bulk of our communicating digitally these days.

There is some evidence that written communication is perceived more negatively than spoken communication. When we see people talk, we see soothing non-verbal cues, like smiling, that soften words.

It’s also harder to emphasize things in written communication. When you’re talking, you can raise your voice, or say words differently, to show what you mean.

People attempt to compensate in emails with exclamation points, which on some level makes sense. As Erica Dhawan explains in her book, Digital Body Language, “today, exclamation points, arranged throughout texts and emails, convey friendliness.” Indeed, “they have become so obligatory in emails that you risk coming off as brusque or cold if you fail to use them.”

Since we live in a distracted world, people also wager that more exclamation points will capture people’s attention. But all this has led to a very modern scourge: exclamation point inflation.

If one is good, why not two to show real excitement? Or three? But double exclamation points —or worse, four, five, six — start to look like a bit much. You suddenly have a gigantic visual fence in the middle of your emails, and hey, if you use three in this sentence and four in another, how am I supposed to interpret that?

Best to avoid the inflation. Writes Dhawan, “You should use [exclamation points] judiciously, since in serious situations they can be interpreted as overly intense and even immature.” Who wants that? Not you.

So follow this rule: one exclamation point is enough. If you find yourself wanting to use two in a particular sentence, then go back through your note and remove some from elsewhere, so using one still conveys the emphasis. I am guessing at least one of your sentences can do its job with a simple period rather than anything more demonstrative.

You can also rewrite your email to make your point with words. We say things like “the market crashed” rather than “the market fell very very very very fast” and you should take the same approach with punctuation. “I need this tomorrow by 10 a.m. I will check in at 4 p.m. today to make sure we are still on track,” is more specific than “I need this fast!!!!” with four exclamation points.

So make sure you’ve got your exclamation point usage under control. If you never use them, well, maybe you can loosen up a little. We do live in a casual age. Even serious people use emojis! (Note my use of a single exclamation point.)

But like all forceful language, exclamation points do more when we expect them to do less. Best to stick to one.