Make a family List of 100 Dreams
Figure out how everyone wants to spend their time
Longtime readers know that I frequently recommend making a List of 100 Dreams. This is an exercise I learned years ago from career coach Caroline Ceniza-Levine. A List of 100 Dreams is like a bucket list…with a really big bucket. You think of anything you want to spend more time doing — either things in general (“exercise”) or goals you have that will take more time (“run a marathon”).
The brilliance of such a long list is that you identify lots of things you want to do in your life. Some of them — like publishing a book, running a marathon, or renovating your kitchen — require a lot of time or money. By the time you get to 100 dreams, though, you’ll also be listing items that are much more doable. You won’t renovate your kitchen tomorrow, but you could try a banana split at your local ice cream place. You won’t publish a book tomorrow, but you could publish a letter to the editor in your local paper.
If you haven’t made your own personal List of 100 Dreams, I hope you’ll consider giving it a try. But that brings us to today’s Vanderhack: It can also be great to make a List of 100 Dreams with your family as well.
What makes the list
I have been thinking of this lately as my family and I have been trying to decide where to go for upcoming vacations, and as we’ve also been talking about activities we’d like to do during the fall or during the holiday season. For instance, one of my kids would really like to see Glacier National Park, Denali, and Japan. Another kid wants the whole house decorated for fall and then for Christmas. Another kid declared seeing the Rockettes in Radio City Music Hall to be a must-do for the holidays. I thought the show was fun, but I didn’t know it was a make-or-break thing for someone to believe he’d had a good Christmas, so it was good to know that.
You, likewise, may not know what your family members would like to spend time doing. So set aside some time to brainstorm individually and collectively. Then see what you’ve come up with. I bet you can picture the conversations this would spark. Maybe your partner wants to take the family camping. What are his memories of camping growing up? What does he imagine it will be like camping all together with your family? And what about ghost stories — definitely, every night, occasionally, or no way, never? Maybe your teenager wants to map your family tree. How did she get interested in that? What aspects of your family history is she most curious about? Our dreams are part of who we are, and hearing your family’s dreams gives you a new window onto their personalities.
Passing time on a car trip
Generating a family List of 100 Dreams could be a great activity for a car trip, with everybody having individual thinking time and then sharing their dreams out loud. If you’re making the list at home, you could record the ideas on a big piece of paper or a white board if you have one. Put headings like “Places to Go,” “Things to Do,” “Foods to Eat,” “Skills to Learn” on the paper, and then give every family member a marker to write or draw their ideas on the appropriate pages. To see what dreams generated the most enthusiasm, you could have everyone read all the ideas and give each person stickers to mark the ideas they’re most excited about.
Once you’ve captured the ideas, figure out how to put them somewhere you can see frequently. Maybe it’s on a bulletin board in the family room, or a poster tacked up on the pantry door or maybe you’re all digital and you will all consult a shared document. You can figure out what works for you.
But you want to be sure to revisit this list, because if you know what your family is interested in, because you’ve created a List of 100 Dreams, you’re ready to make memories anytime an opportunity presents itself. When you’re planning vacations and weekends, you can consult the list and find lots of ideas. You won’t keep going around saying “what do you want to do?” “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” You’ve got options, and with those options, you can start making your family’s dreams come true.