Let limits help you make choices

One way to make decisions easier

When I learned — almost seven years ago — that my 5th child was on his way, it wasn’t clear where we were going to put him. Eventually my family wound up buying a house with space for all of us, but in the meantime, I hatched a plan to put a crib in the master bedroom closet.

This required cleaning out half the space. My husband and I each had to get rid of a lot of stuff. And so we did. As I donated my pile of clothes, shoes, and bags, I realized that much of it could have been disposed of years prior. There was just no real need to do so. A strict limit made it easier to make choices.

Only so much space

This is true in many spheres of life. One reason I like traveling with only carry-on luggage is that it forces you to choose outfits with a limit on how much you can take. Without a limit, people just pack clothes they like rather than outfits that will get worn.

Limits can help us decide what to do with our time too. If you’ve ever worked in a department that was short-staffed, you probably noticed that, amazingly, the most critical work still got done. Maybe a lot of other great stuff didn’t get done, and I’m not suggesting cutting just to do so, but when there are limited hands available, this inspires a certain level of focus.

Same thing with our personal lives. During a busy weekend when there is less time available for life maintenance and household tasks, you’ll make a quick stop at the store for the obvious stuff, but you won’t visit three big box stores hunting for the perfect shovel. You’ll probably do laundry but you aren’t going to dust the baseboards.

Create your own limits

This truth means that if you want to force some more choices — and, say, keep chores from taking over your weekend — then you can make this happen by setting a limit on available time. Instead of thinking of Saturday as errand day, decide to devote an hour or two to errands and let that limit help you decide which errands you actually need to do. Rather than spend an uncertain amount of time preparing for a meeting, decide that you will spend 45 minutes doing so, and that limit will help you choose what most needs to happen.

Now, there’s a limit to the uses of limits. I’m working on this post on a day when my kids are home from school due to snow, and I’m supervising the child who used to sleep in my closet as he’s doing virtual kindergarten. As a result, I have very limited time to work. The limit is certainly forcing some choices. I have not responded to a lot of emails, for instance. This is doable for a day or two, but I’m having flashbacks to Covid when this was happening over and over again. Strict limits over too long a period of time make life feel stressful and unsustainable.

But for limited situations, limits can help. So, if you don’t want to look at the universe of paint color choices, have someone you trust choose 3-5, and you choose your favorite of those. If you’re not sure where to go on vacation, maybe look for cheap direct flights from your local airport on the day you plan to go and choose from there. You’ll spend less time choosing and probably you’ll be just as happy with the result.