Just get to three

Many good habits don't have to happen daily

One of my big discoveries in writing about time management is that many “daily” habits don’t actually happen daily. People speak of a daily commute, but very few people commute on weekends, holidays, vacations, and sick days. In this case, “daily” means five times a week on some weeks and less on others.

Similarly, someone who goes to the office gym on his lunch break might speak of going “daily,” but there’s a reasonable chance this only happens Monday through Thursday, and not on Fridays when he’s working from home, to say nothing of holidays, etc. This “daily” habit happens four times a week. Usually.

All this is neither here nor there for any individual claim. I don’t aim to be the annoying person in conversations asking “now are you sure you exercise daily?” Instead, my point is that in many cases, when people talk about doing something daily, what they really mean is that they do it regularly. And that’s fine! With that same mindset, if you are trying to adopt a good habit, you don’t need to assume that everyone else is doing it daily. Aiming for daily might not be necessary.

Three times a week

I maintain that three times a week is a habit. If you want something to be a regular part of your life, just see if you can squeeze it in three times a week. You might be surprised at what you can do.

So, for instance, let’s say you used to play an instrument, and you’d like to get back to it. You could lament that you can’t play the piano for an hour every day like you did during your most serious studies, but that is unlikely to be the minimum standard for making progress. Could you find 20 minutes, three times a week, to play a low-cost electronic keyboard? Perhaps you could. That is just one total hour out of 168. That seems doable.

Or maybe you’d like to do some creative writing. You don’t have a chunk of time every single day when you can hole yourself up in a garrett. But could you write for 20-30 minutes three times a week? It’s just 60-90 minutes total. Skip a show or two and you’re there.

365 times is unlikely

Or maybe you fantasize about “daily” family meals. You want to be the kind of family that eats together, but between work and kid schedules, there’s no 6 p.m. pot roast being unveiled on its platter all seven days a week. So what? I suspect that a lot of the people who claim to eat family dinners “daily” don’t when a kid has an event that goes from after school into the evening, or someone is traveling for work, or one parent went to her cousin’s baby shower in the next state over. They are not hitting 365 dinners a year — and you don’t need to either. Maybe you all eat pancakes together on Saturday morning and Sunday dinner together before the week begins. Just find one other time that works — maybe a late Tuesday dinner if that’s a day when the activities are over early — and just like that, you are a family that eats together.

Just get to three. I know I have found this mindset incredibly helpful as I try to make space for things in my life. Once I ran every day, as in truly every day. I did that for 1100 days straight. That’s no longer happening in this season of my life. But I can definitely run three times a week and that means I am still a runner. Our family meals happen as they can but they often do happen three times a week. We are a family that eats together. I sing three times a week. I blog at least three times per week. None of this needs to be daily to count, but because it is regular, it can be a part of who I am.

So what would you like to have be a regular part of your life? You might not need to wait for some future time when life calms down. Life isn’t going to calm down next week. It might not calm down next year! But if you survey your life, you might already be doing what you desire once a week or so. Just get to three. That is doable, and when you do it, your life will feel better.