If you can't get out of it, get into it

Don't add to your misery

If you are out in the wilderness, miles away from civilization, you can’t exactly refuse to sleep outside. You can’t refuse to deal with the rain or the need to eat what you’ve brought with you. So this may be why I have seen the mantra “If you can’t get out of it, get into it,” attributed to Outward Bound. Once you are in a given situation, you are better off enjoying what you can. Nursing a sense of misery will lead to more suffering. Whereas if you look for something good, you can probably find it.

I think “if you can’t get out of it, get into it” is a good motto for lots of contexts. Once you’re doing something, complaining about it or sulking will make the next few hours a lot less enjoyable than if you at least try to have fun. I’m not saying you’ll generate any future enthusiasm for the thing, or that somebody shouldn’t have behaved differently and not gotten you in this situation. But, given the situation, you have a choice about how to approach the next stretch of time.

The gift of looking happy

So, for instance, if your friend desperately wants to go bowling for her birthday, and this is truly not your thing, you could feign having the flu to get out of it. But if you’re not doing that, once you’re at the bowling alley, you may as well act like bowling is your favorite thing on the planet. Celebrate every time you manage to knock down a pin. Take lots of photos of yourself in those ridiculous shoes. You are going bowling because you love your friend so you may as well also give her the gift of seeming to have a good time.

Or maybe you’re going to Disney World with extended family even though you dread it because you don’t like lines, humidity, overstimulation, or frankly, several members of your extended family. Once you’ve decided to get on the plane to Orlando, none of that matters. Put on your Mickey Mouse ears. Take a photo of all of you in your matching family shirts in front of It’s a Small World. All time passes and in a few short days this will all be over.

Get to know the place

This can even be a good motto in a professional context. Maybe you’re staffed on a project in a city you don’t wish to spend time in. Be that as it may, I’m sure it has some charms, so try the good restaurants and see the tourist attractions during a break from work. After all, your clients live there, so it might be good to generate some enthusiasm for the place.

Now there’s no point suffering if you don’t need to. If you can opt out of something without causing harm or deep disappointment, then do it.

But once you’re in, you may as well be in. You’ll have a better time if you go all in than if you devote your energy to amplifying your distaste for the activity. Afterwards, maybe you can figure out a way to never do this thing again. But for now, you may as well embrace it.

---

Enjoying Vanderhacks? Please check out Big Time: A Simple Path to Time Abundance, my newest book. Click here to learn more or to order.