We have all found ourselves in conversations that start out promising...and then end up retreading the same ground over and over again. Or maybe you find yourself talking with someone who tends to go off on tangents. If you’ve got all the time in the world, great! But sometimes we want to redirect. There are all sorts of reasons that a conversation needs to be moved along.
So here’s a little phrase to try: “What’s next for you today?”
You can transition to this phrase from all kinds of things. “Fascinating story! What’s next for you today?” or “I love that you’re so passionate about this. What’s next for you today?” Or “I agree, work can be so stressful. What’s next for you today?”
This phrase does a few good things.
First, it’s a fairly straightforward question. Unless you’re at a late night function, there usually is something else going on in the day. If you’re at work, or at the bus stop, or at school pick-up or a kid’s activity, there’s no doubt something next in the day for everyone. You’re asking what that is.
Second, you keep the conversation focused on your partner, at least for a moment. You’re not ending the conversation in a way that makes it clear that you’re bored with whatever they’re talking about. So it’s a little more polite.
But, and this is important, this little question prompts people to think about what’s coming up and what else they need to do. You gently let them know that the conversation is shifting, and possibly wrapping up as they transition to whatever is next. It’s time to focus on what’s ahead.
You can even decide to skip the “today” part if it doesn’t fit well. If this is a general getting-to-know-you sort of conversation, asking “What’s next for you?” without the “today” allows you to find out something interesting about the person. But in any case, it can cut short some rambling or complaining, so it’s worth keeping in the quiver.
Genius!
Another one that has worked for me: "I know you're busy..." No one ever admits that they're not!