How to make anyone more lovable

Kindness is seldom a one-way street

Love changes people. That is the message of a children’s book that came out about 30 years ago called Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch. The story begins when a not especially lovable man named Mr. Hatch receives a Valentine’s gift, which is a heart-shaped box of chocolates accompanied by an unsigned note that reads, “Somebody loves you.”

Suddenly everybody Mr. Hatch encounters could be the one who loves him. Feeling loved, his attitude and behavior change. He helps out people who need him. He shares his chocolates. He makes brownies and lemonade for his neighbors and spontaneously throws a party in his yard. All this leads to a lot more smiles and happiness…and before long, everyone in the town truly is fond of him.

Alas, then it comes to light that the Valentine’s package Mr. Hatch received had been intended for someone else. He is heartbroken.

Lovable, after all

But thanks to the transformation wrought by feeling loved, Mr. Hatch ends the book with a town full of friends who set out to cheer him up. They shower him with heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and present a big banner that reads “Everybody loves Mr. Hatch.”

The book is a gentle reminder that how we treat others makes a difference in how they feel and interact with the rest of the world. When we show people love, they feel loved and, as a result, tend to become more lovable. Love is not a one way street.

I think that’s an important message if you happen to have any difficult people in your life. Perhaps some toxic folks are past the point of no return. But a lot of gruff people have simply had a lot of gruffness shown to them. A little kindness can soften their edges. It’s worth a try.

Make someone less lonely

This is an important message to share with kids too. Their friendliness and caring may help someone else feel better about themselves. They can ask the shy classmate about their weekend, or invite someone who is more reticent into a game. Even someone who’s a little prickly might just soften a bit with a listening ear. You can be that person.

All of this is about operating from a sense of abundance. Showing love to people tends not to cost much other than a little time and effort. But it changes how people behave. When people know that somebody loves them, they become more lovable. Which makes it easier to show them even more affection in the future.