Build up the excitement

How to make fun events even more fun

Last summer I went to an Olivia Rodrigo concert with my daughter. My daughter is an Olivia Rodrigo fan and knows her music well. I, as a middle-aged person, was not particularly familiar with Olivia Rodrigo before the summer. I knew she was a popular musician, especially with teen girls, but that’s about all I knew.

However, I knew from past experiences that it’s a lot more fun to go to a concert when you know the music. So for a few weeks before the concert, I gave myself a crash course on all things Olivia Rodrigo. I listened to her songs anytime I was in the car. I looked up the play list for her concert and made sure to focus on those songs in particular. By the time the concert rolled around, I too was an Olivia Rodrigo fan, and I could sing along with the crowd. I had way more fun than I would have had if the concert itself had been my first exposure to her music.

I think you might find the same thing to be true. So, whenever you have something special coming up — like a concert, a trip, a party, or a fun outing — make a point of actively anticipating it. Study up on your fun! When you build up the excitement, everything becomes a lot more, well, exciting.

How to have more fun

There are a number of ways you can do this.

If you’re going to a performing arts event, listen to recordings so you get a taste of what’s in store. This is true for music, but also plays, operas, or dance performances. Reading a play before you see it performed is another way to enhance your enjoyment. You’ll be aware of the subtle word play, or foreshadowing, in a way you wouldn’t be if you were just trying to take it in.

Relatedly, before going to a museum, find out about the collection and get to know the artists or topics the museum explores.

If you’re going to a city you’ve never been to, read about the city, talk with friends who have been there recently, and identify attractions you’d like to see. In addition to planning what you’ll do while you’re visiting the new place, you can read novels, see movies, and listen to music from or about the place. This isn’t hard to do. You can search “books by Montreal authors,” or “movies set in Paris” and come up with lots of ways to encounter the place before you get there.

Even if you’re not responsible for planning an event, try to get some of the details ahead of time. That way, you can be intentional about anticipating the special experience. Preview the menu for that Michelin-starred restaurant your hosts will be taking you to. Look at the RSVP list to a party you’re attending (if it’s visible somewhere) and then maybe email a friend who’s going so you can both get excited together. Look at photos of Hawaii’s beaches and flowers before you get on the plane.

You can also ask anybody who will participate in an experience with you what they’re looking forward to.

Now this seems straightforward enough, but I suspect one reason people might not try to build up the excitement is a bit of pessimism. When we’re really looking forward to something, it can feel devastating to have it not happen. I get it. This happened for many of us with big trips planned for 2020.

The benefits of anticipation

But there’s some research finding that anticipation accounts for the lion’s share of any happiness associated with an event. Your dinner will be great, but it will only take about 90 minutes (OK, maybe 3 hours in that Michelin-starred place.…). You can look forward to the dinner for weeks — so most of the pleasure is in the anticipation. That means that even if the event doesn’t happen, by anticipating it, you will have gotten most of the pleasure out of it that you ever will.

Perhaps that sounds crazy, but if you try adopting that mindset, you might find yourself feeling a little more philosophical about the things that do get canceled.

In any case, while spontaneous fun is great, we often do know about fun things a fair amount ahead of time. When we do, we can often maximize the fun by building up the excitement. Watching a movie set in Paris on a random Friday night can make that summer trip to Paris feel real now, months ahead of time. And now, any time I hear an Olivia Rodrigo song, I can hum along.