At least try to be merry and bright

Being in a good mood is a gift to everyone else

We are right in the middle of the holiday busyness. Those of us with kids at home have the usual activities (all day robotics tournament?), plus the special holiday ones like concerts and parties. We want to make memories with trips to see lights or Santa. People in all family situations want to think through gifts and procure ones that will make everyone we love delighted. Meanwhile, we may be trying to wrap up the year’s business at work, possibly hitting certain numbers, getting budgets and plans in place for next year, or at least getting ahead on work that would be due on days we’ll be traveling.

All of it is wonderful. It is a blessing to have people who want to make holiday memories with you. It is a marvelous thing that there is demand for your time at work. It can also be a lot. When we are stressed, even holiday fun can feel like one more thing on the to-do list.

The people in our lives pick up on that stress. It can cast a dark shadow over the whole holiday experience.

Make a conscious choice

Now I’m not saying we can simply eliminate stress. I also think that a lot of the advice out there to “do less” or “simplify Christmas” doesn’t quite get it. Someone needs to shop for my five kids’ presents, and go to their holiday concerts. Even the bare minimum would be a lot, and hence doing a little more than the bare minimum, with its promise of making memories, isn’t an order of magnitude different.

But what those of us who are managing complex Christmases can do is to put being merry and bright on the list like everything else. Aim to find the fun in whatever is on the list for each day.

There are many things we can do to add genuinely enjoyable, relaxing aspects to any holiday activity. Treat yourself to a festive cup of coffee while shopping — or meet a friend for lunch and then wend your way through Target together. I once took a late afternoon to go to a light display all by myself, so I could look at what I wanted to for the amount of time I wanted to without dragging kids around everywhere. Put on your favorite music while wrapping presents.

Lean on foundational habits

During stressful times, good habits become even more critical. In my 2022 book, Tranquility by Tuesday, I list three foundational time management habits that I think have the biggest payoff.

First, give yourself a bedtime. Staying up late to do some online holiday shopping isn’t going to make the holidays go more smoothly. It will just put you in a bad mood in the morning.

The second rule is to plan on Fridays. Carve out time each week to think through the upcoming week, so you know what you need to do, and also so you can make sure to plan in things that are fun for you too.

The third rule is to move by 3 p.m. Physical activity is a known mood booster. Particularly for those of us in places where the days are getting short, getting outside to walk for 10 minutes in the middle of the day can give the day a reset button. I always return in a much better frame of mind.

Ideally everyone around us will also aim to be merry and bright. Unfortunately, that would require a Christmas miracle. But moods are contagious. Being merry and bright is a gift to those in our lives, as much as anything else we might give them. If you’ve got a lot on your plate, it can be a more challenging gift than buying a toy. But it’s a worthwhile one nonetheless.