I like to think I have a reasonably adventurous life. I also have a tendency to get anxious about the details of many of these adventures. How will I navigate that unfamiliar airport in that foreign country? What if I can’t figure out the train schedule? What if these concert tickets turn out to be counterfeit? What if the weather is terrible?
I’m sure lots of folks feel similar anxieties (if not to the same degree). So the question is how to keep these anxieties from either ruining an experience or preventing you from having adventures in the first place.
There are lots of different approaches, but one that works for me is reminding myself how soon I will be on the other side of this experience. I’m home from most trips inside 168 hours. If I’m trying to navigate traffic and parking to attend an event somewhere, most likely I’ll be home in time to read for a while before bed. Most of my speeches are over in an hour or less!
No one escapes the ceaseless ticking
Now on some level that might sound like wishing time away, but it isn’t — I’m not saying I want any given trip to be over. But I can remind myself of how many weeks have passed in my life and how many were fairly forgettable. This adventure likely means I will remember the week. One way or another 168 hours will pass. One way or another I will be on the other side of the next week. But if I play my cards right, the whole thing could be pretty incredible. Looking back, I will be really glad I did this thing.
Often, that’s enough to nudge me forward. Long weekend in Paris? Yes! In four days I will be on the other side of it. Those four days are going to pass one way or the other. If I travel to Paris I will definitely remember those days.
I’d add that this mindset can be helpful for things you’d rather not do too. I was not particularly excited about getting an MRI recently (who would be?). I don’t like enclosed spaces and people had warned me that those machines can really trigger the claustrophobia. But as I was worrying about it, I reminded myself that in a few hours I would be on the other side of the experience. Whereas if I put it off I would not be on the other side of the experience! I can make it through 30 minutes of anything, and sure enough, it was eventually over. I hated every second, but it was only about 30 minutes of hating every second.
Somewhere in time
Mental time travel can be useful in many circumstances. We can make ourselves happy in low moments by recalling happy times. We can make normal days feel special by picturing a future without them. We can boost happiness from any experience by anticipating it beforehand and coming up with ways to cement the memories and recall them afterwards.
Realizing how soon you will be on the other side of something is one version of this — and one I’ve found very helpful. Maybe you will too!
I’ve actually used this when I did the Sydney Harbour Bridge Climb (I’m a bit scared of heights when in the open air, but my desire to accomplish this outweighed my fear) The worst bit was when we had to climb a short section where I could see through to the water below - I just told myself that it was only a few seconds out of the rest of my life!
Hi Laura, long time reader here.
I have an 8 year old boy. I wonder how you communicate time usage to your kids of varying ages.
This post is a very good example of something I can share with my son about how to visualize himself in the other side of a given situation - whether it’s working through anxiety, trying again, or trying for the first time.
Are there tactics that have worked for you to get them off their screens during a given amount of down time?